Prepare for Constipation

It's that time of year again. When Jews all around the world hope for nothing more than a simple poop. And yet... we cannot have it. We push, squeeze... you know the drill. And the worst part is, we do it to ourselves. You know what I mean... Passover.

Seder's this year take place on April 8 and 9. Really... I could not be any less excited. I don't really care for the seders (especially given that I lead one for 26 people and it really does take some prep work), I despise eating like that for a week, and I really could do without the constipation.

I know we have an obligation as the "chosen people," but couldn't we all do something else to show we care? How about an annual trip to Egypt? What if we just ate cookie dough, but did not turn them into actual cookies, thus not allowing them to rise? Or... couldn't we all just give up lamb for 40 days and 40 nights as a sacrifice? I think any of these would be suitable.

I thought holidays were supposed to be happy times. This holidays is really not all that happy when you get down to it. Perhaps we should call it a commemoration instead of a holiday.

That said... I do love the time spent with family, and the truth is... when you pour chocolate and carmel over matzah... how bad could it be?!?!

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