Monday, March 30, 2009

Big Red... Big Bitch!

I don't understand why some people are so rude. And it's not because anyone is being rude to them... it's because they are miserable people and that is what they give off to the world.

For those of you watching the Amazing Race this season, you know who I am talking about... the Reds. I actually think it is just one of them (Jaime), but being that I really cannot tell the two of them apart until they open their mouths, we will just call them both complete bitches!

On last night's episode, they did not stop yelling at people... cab drivers, the apothecary guy, and other strangers. Just because you were an NFL cheerleader and a police officer, it does not give you the right to treat people like that.

In closing, let's quote the Amazing Race website and allow Jaime to tell you in her own words what an awful, miserable, bitch she really is... "Jaime claims that Cara is too nice and needs to stop worrying about keeping the peace." Isn't she a sweetheart?!?!

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Prepare for Constipation

It's that time of year again. When Jews all around the world hope for nothing more than a simple poop. And yet... we cannot have it. We push, squeeze... you know the drill. And the worst part is, we do it to ourselves. You know what I mean... Passover.

Seder's this year take place on April 8 and 9. Really... I could not be any less excited. I don't really care for the seders (especially given that I lead one for 26 people and it really does take some prep work), I despise eating like that for a week, and I really could do without the constipation.

I know we have an obligation as the "chosen people," but couldn't we all do something else to show we care? How about an annual trip to Egypt? What if we just ate cookie dough, but did not turn them into actual cookies, thus not allowing them to rise? Or... couldn't we all just give up lamb for 40 days and 40 nights as a sacrifice? I think any of these would be suitable.

I thought holidays were supposed to be happy times. This holidays is really not all that happy when you get down to it. Perhaps we should call it a commemoration instead of a holiday.

That said... I do love the time spent with family, and the truth is... when you pour chocolate and carmel over matzah... how bad could it be?!?!

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Monday, March 23, 2009

We'll Always Have Duluth

Chad and I took a long weekend together and headed north to Duluth. Here is a brief re-cap of our trip:

Friday
We left from my house on Friday morning. No road trip would be complete without car snackies, so first we stopped at the Holiday around the corner, and then we were off.

We sang, laughed, and talked the whole way. It was a nice short ride. On the way, we stopped at Tobies in Hinckley for their famous Carmel Rolls. They were delicious as always. And to complement our carmel rolls, we both had a bowl of French Onion soup. We also both paid for that later. :)

When we arrived in Duluth, we went to our resort, but it was not ready. So, we went and bummed around a bit. We drove downtown, part way up the hill, fucked around in a KFC for a bit, and finally back to our hotel.

Beacon Pointe resort in Duluth is AMAZING!!!! If you are going to Duluth, do yourself a favor and stay there. The most comfortable bed I have ever stayed in, a nice hot tub in the room, a balcony/porch almost literally on Lake Superior... absolutely gorgeous.

We went and had dinner at Bellisos in Canal Park. It was a nice Italian restaurant with good food. It also had, by far, the best bread I have ever had in my life. YUM!!!!!

After dinner, we went back to the hotel, watched Officer and a Gentleman, took a hot tub, and then moved rooms because the people next to us were SO loud and set off the smoke alarm twice. Once we moved though, it was great!!!

Saturday
Saturday morning we headed to the Aveda salon downtown and each got an hour long massage and then a scalp treatment. It was great!!!

After we went back to the room to get ready, we headed down to Canal Park to do some shopping. They have some REALLY cute shops and it was fun bumming around. We had lunch at Hell's Kitchen, a cute restaurant where the staff wears their jammies.

Next we went to downtown to do more shopping, but apparently downtown Duluth closes on the weekends. NOTHING was open, and I mean nothing.

After shopping, we took another hot tub before going to the top of the Radisson for dinner. The rotating restaurant was fun, but the food and the service were terrible!!!! If you go, skip this restaurant... the novelty is not worth it.

Following dinner, it was back to the hotel. We swam in their pool, their jacuzzi, and then went back to our room for another hot tub along with some wine and truffles. Needless to say, we got water logged after all that.

Sunday
Sunday morning we got ready, and made one more stop at Canal Park. It was here that I was almost killed by a Road Raging Bumpkin. He was ready to kill me and called me fag, cocksucker, and fat. That was after he SLAMMED my car door shut twice. Note to self... if a Bumpkin in Duluth is riding your ass, let him... Don't slam on your breaks if you want to live to see another day.

Then we were on our way. We sang some more, laughed some more, and made SEVERAL stops in search of a gnome. We also went back to Hinckley and after seeing the food at Cassidy's, decided to have another meal at good old Tobies.

Once back in the city, we went to the cemetery for Chad to meet my dad. Then, we went home, unpacked, caught up on missed TV, watched one of my high school plays, and went to bed.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

What Is The Purpose Of A Checklist?

Okay... why do certain places have checklists, if they automatically check something off without making sure it is done. This has happened to me on numerous occasions, but once again, it happened today.

I took my car in for an oil change to the dealer... Metro Kia in Bloomington. I am on there VIP program, so I get free oil changes for the life of the car. I also get a free car wash any time I have service. So... when I dropped the car off, he told me they would of course give me my complimentary wash with it. I thanked him and proceeded to the waiting room.

When my car was ready, I went to retrieve my keys. I of course had to sign a paper that said... "Car Wash" and then next to it was typed in "Completed." Great... I assumed my car was washed and all was ready to go. I then go out to my car, and it was of course, not washed.

What the fuck?!?! Why would you type in "completed" if you did not KNOW that it was completed. Was it that hard to ask the technician if he ran it through the wash? Did he think I would not notice my car was dirty? I just don't understand. What's the point of a checklist if you do not actually check the item, and automatically check the box off.

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A-hole Neighbors

If your neighbor is an asshole clap your hands (clap, clap)!

Why are people so passive aggressive? Minnesota seems to be the hub for passive aggressive people. When you can't hack it in New York, that boot you to the frozen tundra!

A few years ago, our neighbors leave a note on our door that the dog barking outside (we have a dog door, so they let themselves out) has gotten out of control, so they called animal control. Instead of saying something to us, and giving us a chance to correct it (when we did not even know it was happening), they call animal control. Whatever... assholes. But we fixed the problem, and all went well.

Well, this week, the neighbors directly behind us have two visiting dogs. Charley and one of them got into a barking match while I was asleep and AP was in the shower. So, we did not hear. When she got out, she heard him. So, as I was leaving for work yesterday, as soon as I lifted the garage door, I saw an animal control car and an SUV talking, and leave as soon as I came out. I am pretty sure they have a stakeout now for our house, but rest assured, we are on it.

I understand dog barking can be a pest. It annoys me too. But if there is a problem, come and tell us. We are nice people. We would apologize and take care of it. Don't puss out and run and tell on us like we are in 3rd grade. Seriously... how old are they. A-holes!!!!

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Closed on Sunday???

So why do certain businesses close on Sundays? In theory, that would be their second busiest day of the week. I don't get it.

I got new glasses and soon to be new sunglasses at America's Best Contacts and Eyeglasses. First... a shameful plug... I think you should get your glasses there. They rock. But second... they are open Monday through Saturday? What the hell? They are overwhelmingly busy there on Saturdays. Think how much better they would do if they were open on Sunday and closed on Monday instead.

Car dealerships... same thing. I understand that that it is an MN state law that all car dealers must be closed on Sundays so that those crazy sales people who work on commission are forced to take a day off. But again, why not close on a Monday so they can be busy on a Sunday. Truly, I think sales would be better. I believe we have this all wrong.

But Chinese restaurants.... they know where it is at. Many of them are open Tuesday-Sunday. These people are brilliant. Not only do they do better on tests than we do, and make cooler shit than us, but they also know that business booms on a Sunday and it is dead on a Monday.

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Saturday, March 14, 2009

And The Winner Is...

Okay, I cannot tell you right off the bat. You have to read through this first.

As you know, I had a contest on here of words to unscramble. All of the words were things I like. Several people submitted their answers. Congrats to all of you!

Last night, a drawing was held to declare the winner of the prize. Congratulations to Wendy Beth Gahm!!!! Not only did she win the prize, but she is also the ONLY person that got all 20 answers with NO help. Mazel Tov!!! She will receive her prize this week.

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Fun For The Whole Family

So today's blog will be completely interactive. Below are 20 things I like. It is your job to unscramble them. Please note that numbers 11 and 17 are two word answers separated by a //. Once you finish all of them, send me the answers either through a comment here, a message on Facebook, or an e-mail. A prize is at stake... good luck!

1. W K S Y A H J A

2. T T R I N E N E

3. S U C I R E

4. A U M C S L S I

5. S G A M S E A

6. H L Y C A E R

7. D S R F N I E

8. S R U S B T N U C E L A

9. D D G W E S N I

10. K O B E C O A F

11. D R A O B / / A E G M S

12. S C M R S A A

13. T S R D S E E

14. R L V T E A

15. F Y A L M I

16. G U N I G H L A

17. T L R I Y E A / / S W O S H

18. T G E T R A

19. D I O L Y S H A

20. H D A C

Not easy, I know. But hopefully fun, none the less. Please submit your answers by the end of the week to be eligible for the prize. Good luck!!!

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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Cruise in Review

Okay... here it is... the much anticipated cruise blog. I must say... I am not excited to write this, so it is going to be a condensed version. The reason I am not excited... because I still want to be on the ship and given that I am not, how un-exciting is this?!?! Plus, I got engaged when I got back and that was even more exciting. Okay... here goes:

The Ship:
Wow... what an AMAZING ship. Liberty of the Seas is the shit! As of right now, it is the largest cruise ship in the world (she shares the title with her sisters Freedom and Independence). This ship has mini-golf, a rock climbing wall, a flowrider, shuffleboard, Ben & Jerry's, Johnny Rockets, an ice skating rink, a royal promenade, and so much more. It truly felt like I was in a moving city. They also have amazing pools including two cantilevered whirlpools hanging out over the ocean. VERY fun!!

The Entertainment:
Their production shows were AWFUL. Most definitely the worst I have ever seen on any ship. However, that was a total of 3 hours out of the week. They did have an awesome comedian and an AMAZING juggler. They had ENCORE which is an extraordinary show on ice. Their casino was great! The sports offered around the ship cannot be beat, and their activities/games were definitely a blast. We enjoyed the Quest most of all and our team came in 3rd place out of 8. Yahooo!!! There was also a 70's Dancing in the Streets party on the Royal Promenade that was incredible as well as a Pirate Parade on the last night. I also would not necessarily qualify this as entertainment, but we went to the spa twice and it was AWESOME. So relaxing and my therapist, John, from South Africa, was EXCELLENT!!!

The Food:
The food on this ship was was better than any other ship. Surprisingly enough, my favorite thing I ate all week was at breakfast. It was chocolate french toast. Let me say that again... CHOCOLATE FRENCH TOAST!!! It was regular bread, but with a layer of chocolate in between almost like a croissant. So amazing!! They also had great beef, delicious chicken, and more. Plus, our table requested roasted garlic in the clove one night, and from then on they brought it to us every night. Unbelievable!!!! I also have to give Kudos to their specialty restaurant Chops Grille. We ate there on the last night and it was hands down the best fillet Mignon I have ever eaten and without a doubt the best service I have ever seen in any restaurant anywhere. If you go on this ship, eat at Chops!! Also, their room service menu was much nicer than most ships. You have a lot more options and the food is really good.

The Service:
The staff and crew on this ship know what good service means. They make you feel like a king no matter where you go. In the dining room, the front desk, the Explorations desk, the cruise director's staff, and on and on and on. They are EXTREMELY well trained to provide the best customer service around.

The Ports:
Normally there is a port or two I did not like, but not this time:

Labadee, Haiti- This is their private area on Haiti. We rode jet skis and it was incredible. So much fun going 45 miles per hour. I totally felt like I was on Baywatch!! Their shop owners are WAY to pushy for my liking, but then we found out that the average ANNUAL income per person is $230, so you understand why they want you to buy from them.

Montego Bay, Jamaica- I have to admit, I was very nervous about going to Jamaica. You hears TONS of stories about people getting mugged, pick pocketed, and even stabbed. Thankfully, we were safe the entire time. They had some really nice shopping here, though nothing to write home about. We went rafting down the Martha Brae on our own bamboo raft with our own guide paddling for us. It was great. Very relaxing and fun to do.

Georgetown, Grand Cayman- The shopping here is like Beverly Hills. Much more upscale than you would expect and you don't really feel like you are in the Caribbean. Here we went on the SeaTrek Helmet Dive and walked on the floor of the ocean (25 feel below the surface) with an 80-pond helmet on for 40 minutes. It was INCREDIBLE!!!! We did some really cool things under the water and I would HIGHLY recommend this to anyone. I want to go again. I also tried conch, which is the animal that lives inside those big shells. Do yourself a favor... don't try conch!

Cozumel, Mexico- The last time I was in Cozumel was right after the hurricane and it was a dump. This time I was pleasantly surprised and really liked it. This is also where I was a dolphin trainer for the day at Dolphinairs. What an AMAZING program and experience. They really know how to treat you right. We gave the dolphins the commands, fed them fish, and swam with them for 45 minutes or so. We also got a back stage tour, T-shirt, pictures, lunch, drinks, and so much more. Easily, one of the best days in my life.

So that is it.... my cruise in review. Obviously there is a ton I did not write about, but you will just have to watch the DVD we bought of the trip. It was another amazing trip and I can hardly wait for the next one on February 13, 2010 aboard Holland America's M/S Noordam!

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Sunday, March 1, 2009

I'm Engaged!!!!

Okay, I know everyone wants to hear about the cruise, and I will do that in the next entry, but for now... I am engaged!!!

Chad and I have only known each other a short time, but also know that it is right. We are completely in love and ready to spend our lives together. We had already picked out our wedding date (10-10-10), discussed moving in together, sharing finances, our future etc. So, I realized... what are we waiting for, let's make it official.

I bought us matching "engagement rings" in Cozumel. They are silver rings with a slide in the middle of Jewish stars (Yes, Chad is going to be converting). Last night, Chad picked us up from the airport. We got home, unpacked, etc. As he was brushing his teeth, I went into the bedroom, lit a candle, got in bed, and waited for him. When he got in bed, I gave him the schpiel, had the rings in a little pouch in my hands, and the rest is history.

Again, the ceremony will be October 10, 2010. A year and a half away, but lots of planning. Be sure to save the date!

I will write more about the cruise later... so be sure to check here. And as always...

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